before we were bipedal
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
In the spring of 2017, I was finishing out a dance workshop. In the final session of the workshop, each person was invited to share a creation that emerged over the course of the five months. I’ve always been inspired by a performance I saw in college – a dance performed to a reading of Andrew Zawacki’s poem Georgia from his book Petals of Zero, Petals of One. So, for my final presentation, I wanted to write a poem and choreograph a short dance to pair with it. One of the themes we’d talked about was dancing from the heart vs. the head vs. the gut, and what it looked like to create movement from those three different places. It really resonated with me, and that’s where I got the inspiration for A Woman’s Intuition.
Love yourself open,
like outstretched arms
waiting to embrace.
like a syndrome
you can’t shake.
Change the course
of your life
with two lanes.
in love. Sometimes
wonder where you went.
in outstretched arms
waiting to embrace.
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
The piece of writing I wanted to share this week isn’t technically from 2017 or even the past year, but it’s a piece that feels very relevant. On October 1st, my husband and I are celebrating our one-year wedding anniversary. Last year, we had an extremely intimate and private ceremony in upstate New York, near where we’d gotten engaged the year prior. As a gift to our wedding guests, I composed and printed a book of eight love poems, one from each of the years we’d been together. Lost and Found is the final poem in the book. The last two stanzas really take me back to the place and time when I wrote this poem in 2016. I think almost any person who’s about to embark in a new relationship or marriage has fears of losing themself. But, when you’ve chosen to love someone and build a life with them, you come to realize that right there, with them, is where you go to find yourself.
Putting together this book was a big step for me as a writer for a number of reasons. First, it required me to revisit writing dating back to 2009 with more perspective and an objective eye. I had to be my own editor and decide whether to leave the words of my 21, 22, 20-something year old self intact or make changes. It also pushed me to put myself out there in a pretty vulnerable way. Until I started publishing some of my creative writing on this blog (just last week!), I’ve only ever shared my creative writing with professors and fellow classmates back in college and a very select few people since then. So, sharing some of my most intimate poems about my relationship with our wedding guests was a huge feat. Finally, even though I didn’t technically publish a book, it was the first time I’d seen my writing in print – in something tangible I could hold – and that was pretty exciting for someone who’s dreamed of (and is still dreaming of) publishing a book some day.
It has officially been a month since I lasted published on this blog. I’d like to say this was intentional or a result of writer’s block. I’d like to say I have an amazing story to tell about a great adventure I took over the past thirty-plus days.
The truth is, it has been one of the most strange and unusual summers. There have been a lot of unexpected personal and professional opportunities and obligations that have come my way. The truth this, this month-long hiatus wasn’t intentional at all, it crept up on me quite suddenly when I flipped the calendar page to August, and I thought to myself, where did the time go?
One thing I can share about the past thirty days is that, although I’ve not been channeling my creativity into this blog, I’ve made time for it elsewhere – in dance, in poetry, in a much needed weekend retreat. And now that I finally have time to come back here, to this space, I realize that it’s time for another Creative Habit Challenge.
I’ve learned a lot over the past month, but one of the most important things – the thing I’d like to share with you – is to allow.
Life is not a content calendar with carefully scheduled blog and social media posts. Life is much bigger and better than that, more unpredictable than that, more exciting than that. So allow yourself to live when life comes at you.
Allow creativity to flow in the means you’re given. It doesn’t have to be on the blog you’ve built for three years or the YouTube channel you’ve grown from the ground up. Sure, don’t abandon your commitment to those things, don’t forgo the countless amounts of time, energy, and effort you’ve poured into them, but, at the same time, don’t let these things hold you back from something more.
Allow yourself to let go of one item on your to-do list, to make room for something else. Allow yourself to do this without explanation, rationalization, judgement, or guilt. Allow yourself to embrace the wild uncertainties of life. Allow yourself to indulge in a new opportunity. Allow yourself to be present in whatever is happening in your life right at this very moment.
Above all, allow yourself to release whatever is holding you back from being creative. Do this with mindfulness – don’t up and flee your city, get fired from your job, lose your partner, get evicted from your apartment, and scare your loved ones – but just allow yourself to let go and live. Allow yourself to let creativity in.
The creative process can be inherently introspective and isolating. In previous posts, I’ve even talked about intentionally making the creative process private in order to allow you to really connect deep within yourself and avoid external judgement or comparison. I believe that the creative process is a highly personal cycle and that there is value in keeping it intimate and internally focused. However, I also believe that cultivating a creative community can benefit both the creative process and the creator.
As the old saying goes, opposites attract. I find that creatives are often drawn to non-creatives. By nature, creatives can tend to be more abstract and intuitive. Building close relationships with more logical and rational beings helps to maintain balance in creative life and keep creative ideas grounded. It’s great for creatives to be well-rounded and have a more analytical perspective throughout the creative process – they can benefit from a non-creative community of loving friends and family, but this is only a part of the puzzle. It’s essential that creatives also have a community of more like-minded individuals to support them.
Creativity is subjective. Period. It goes without saying that subjectivity is something more logical, rational beings have a hard time wrapping their minds around. Creativity rarely has a tangible motive or result. Whether creativity is an inherent part of you or something that fulfills you and fuels you, the most concrete outcome of creativity is contentedness. Without a community that includes other creatives, you may never fully believe that is reason enough to be creative.
Start today, right now. If you feel like you don’t have anyone else creative in your life to be part of your community and support system, start here. I’m here to tell you that being creative solely to feel content and fulfilled is enough. When you feel whole and complete, you’re able to give the most to your job, your loved ones, and your life. If creativity is what makes you your best, most authentic self, embrace it, accept it, and never let it slip away.
For this month’s AOC Blog Creative Habit Challenge, focus on cultivating your creative community. Connect with your creative friends, co-workers, Facebook groups, meetups – whatever and whoever it may be. Perhaps you’ve thought about developing your own creative community and this is the push you need to get started. Maybe you’re feeling disconnected from other creatives and don’t know where to start. I invite you to connect with me – I constantly crave more creatives in my life!
On any given day, I get dozens of emails in my inbox, typically from clients or potential clients, sometimes from friends, and, of course, a handful of messages that are subscriptions and spam. Most of the time, managing email is the activity on my daily to-do list I dread the most. But on occasion, I’ll get a message in my inbox that completely makes my day. This past March, I got one of these exciting emails from the handsome and talented men of the alternative rock band Amsterdam Station, announcing the upcoming release of their first full-length album. In preparation for this monumental event, the band enlisted me for a collaborative partnership.
We started with styling the band for a photoshoot for the album, “The River. The Sound. The Wake.” The band and I jumped on a live video call on a Sunday night during one of their weekly rehearsals to discuss the inspiration behind the album and some of their style influences. As the title of the album indicates, the central theme focuses on the forces of nature, specifically the river as a source of cleansing, forward motion, and the cycle of life and death. In addition to embodying the energy of the outdoors and capturing the tones of the earth, the band wanted to stay true to their minimalist style approach that mirrors other alternative rock bands, like The Killers, Mute Math, and Dead Weather. Over the course of the next month, we worked to compose individual looks for each of the band members that reflected the concept for the album and stayed true to each of their individual styles. Then, on an unseasonably cold and windy Saturday morning in April, the band convened at the Chattahoochee River in Roswell, Georgia for the shoot.
For the next several weeks, the band worked tirelessly to complete the album. At the end of their long and arduous journey, I was fortunate enough to get an exclusive preview of the tracks and learn more about the creative process that went into composing the album.
AOC BLOG GIRL: How did you come up with the name for the album?
AMSTERDAM STATION: The album title first originated from the song “The Sound”. This song has been in our writing room for about two years and was the first song written for the new album. This song demonstrates a key change for our band and the maturity of our writing, with haunting harmonies and a tip-of-the-hat to great southern literature and iconic murder ballads. The River has been an archetype throughout history as a place for the soul and the body to be cleansed, a place to offer up the horrors that haunt our minds, and a place to break free from the demons that bind.
The sequence of the wording is important too. The River. The Sound. The Wake. It equates to the place, the event, and the aftermath. A wake is the tracking of waves after movement cuts through the water. When you approach a river, you bear witness to its constant state of change, and, in the wake of the aftermath, a future that is flux, pushing and pulling against an ever changing present. It’s never the same river. With every action or event, there may be admission and regret, but there is never an undoing. If you come to the river heavy with burden, so much so that it consumes you to the core, then you shall sink and bear witness to the bed you’ve made. But, if you allow yourself to purge, grow and persevere, your life becomes buoyant again, and so you float on.
AOC BLOG GIRL: Describe the creative process that went into conceptualizing one of the songs on the album.
AMSTERDAM STATION: In the song Florence, the idea is that the woman (Florence) is having a conversation with God during her last waking hours. Greg (Vocalist/Bassist/Guitarist) wrote this song while his Grandmother was in terminal hospice care last year. She was at a point in her life where her COPD had rendered her unable to catch her breath, even doing the simplest tasks. Once in hospice, she was surrounded by family, reminiscing and telling stories, all while tethered to a wall by an oxygen container and confined to a bed and a body that was merely a shell of herself. Her soul was still vibrant, but her body had run its course, and she died peacefully in her sleep. She had given their family some scares in years past, but during her final moments, she seemed content, accepting and at ease. This song is a tribute to her and a hope that she’s living in peace with her maker.
AOC BLOG GIRL: What’s one signature quality that defines the album as a whole, lyrically, musically, or otherwise?
AMSTERDAM STATION: The signature quality of the album is probably the flow of the songs throughout the album. Like a River, it’s dynamic and constantly changing. Every time you listen cover to cover, it might bring you to a new or changing place in your life. It is a roller coaster of emotions, with constant peaks and troughs, instead of remaining static in one music style or feeling. It mimics real life, instead of the cookie-cutter lives we see ourselves adapting to from time to time.
AOC BLOG GIRL: What’s one thing you’ve learned in producing your first full-length album that you’d like to share with aspiring artists?
AMSTERDAM STATION: However long you believe the album is going to take, double it. In the world of DIY recording these days, you need the extra time to learn and better yourself and to allow for the magic of the studio to rub off on the tracks. Sometimes the last minute changes you make in the studio can really be what MAKE a song have that extra sparkle or resonance. Having more time decreases the stress for the artists and the pressure on the creative process.
Amsterdam Station is releasing their first full length album, “The River. The Sound. The Wake.” this Friday, July 1. Visit their website for details on how to purchase the album, upcoming tour dates, and more! If you’re in the Atlanta area, join the band at Smith’s Olde Bar for their album release party tomorrow night!